–I just completed a ms, co-authored with Marc Schooley, but I have no idea what will come of it–we just did it for a lark.

–Looking back through other, older mss (contemp rather than SF), I can see the thread that ties together everything I seem to end up writing. But all of it's a bit unique. I wonder if that's going to be a strike against me with efforts to enter traditional publishing, at least initially, or whether it'll turn out to be a selling point.

–Reading about the state of publishing and the general fate of midlist (aka most) authors (subsistence income/burnout), I often wonder why I'm doing this stuff. Why am I encouraging others to pursue such a maddening dream? Why am I attempting it myself? Should I just go live my life and forget this crazy stuff?

So yeah, it's one of those phases where I feel like I need to pause and question my sense of direction. I hope to seek some counsel at ACFW this fall, but still, sticking it out, slowing down or walking away for a season is between me and God and my family.

I think if the pen can't be put down, one needs to examine whether it's become a bit of an idol, so I do make a practice of resting at intervals. I also think that pushing myself to the next level of seriousness requires a commitment to not put the pen down, one that I'm maybe not quite ready to make while homeschooling four kids through high school.

So that's where I'm at. Waiting. Still.

Dreams are smaller and less defined. Hope is for the present day and unfocused on the future. Desire and passion are no less visible or necessary, but the confusion for placing them in their proper niches often rules the day. God is more not less and Jesus is indeed the friend that sticks closer than a brother and actually now confers with my brother – and my mom and dad. The fire rages in my spirit from the Spirit to inspire others to quit foolin' around with God. Go deeper! And I pray the words I write matter. Somehow. Some way. Some day. A lot. To some one or someones.

Tim, you're a writer. You will succeed. Write whenever the Lord allows. Sing those words on paper. It'll be worth it one of these days.